The Perpetual List

I am a list maker.

They are never that long, but they are a way to collect all of my thoughts. They are full of things to do, places to go, books to read, stories to write, people I want to become.

I have been a list maker since I can ever remember, or at least since college. I don't remember specifically doing it in high school, but I was young and life was much simpler back then.

Often, my lists get formed in the Saturday morning hours of a long weekend.  A weekend when I have loads of time on my hands and no actual plans.  This is the environment most ripe for a good list - a list full of achievables and pies in the sky.

This past Saturday, President's Day Weekend, I listed the following:

-bike ride to the beach
-yoga
-glasses adjustment
-ironing
-The Artist's Way writing
-blog
-groceries
-finish library book
-bills
-dates

Some of these are achievable, likely even inevitable (bills), and they get added to be sure I have something to show for my weekend.

Some of these are on every list, (blog), so that I can stop feeling bad about them swimming in my head and not actually getting done.  I feel one step closer to completion if I put them on the list.

Some things are self-improvement activities that have no real deadlines, (bike ride to the beach), but I like to put them on the list to remind me to practice life for myself, for fun, for health.

And some things are pies in the sky that I often have no control over, (dates), but they go on the list because I want them for myself.  If I put them on the list, then the law of attraction might kick in and send them my way.

I am rarely able to cross off all of the things on my list.  I have multiple journals of unfinished lists. Journals of places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do.  The transcript of a life still under construction.

I always thought I liked to make the list so that I could cross things off of it, but then I realized something about myself - I'm a perpetual list maker.

Two weeks ago I did a Myers-Briggs assessment. I found out that I'm an ESFP, and Ps are notorious for their perpetual lists.

Typically, one might think of a J as a list maker, and this is true.  They write down lists to stay organized, but they don't actually need the list to get the work done.

The P is also a list maker, it just that our lists don't keep us organized or track a course.  Rather, the P list is a list full of possibilities.

Instead of the "to do" list, it's the "could do" list.  It's open to possibility, and leaves room for spontaneity.

It's a list that doesn't end, and rarely gets completed.

It's a list of things I could do, places I could go, books I could read, stories I could write, people I could become.

It's a list I know I've written hundreds of times, and will continue to rewrite equally as many times more.